Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
