i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You need Xanax blowdarts
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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