I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
