i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
