Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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