Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
