so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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