I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
