Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
