Christians are straight up FREAKS
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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