I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I came so hard my ears popped.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
