holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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