I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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