We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Small penises have feelings too.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
