I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
