You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
