If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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