That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
