My nipple is on Facebook.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
