mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
