Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
God I need to hump something, right now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
