is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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