i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
