What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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