What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
