The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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