he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
