I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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