I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
