So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
