just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize