I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
