it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
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