Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
