i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
