Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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