So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
