Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
