Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
