Duck Duck Cougar?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize