mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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