problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
you didnt know i had herpes?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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