Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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