Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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