You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize