Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
