I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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