Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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