Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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