omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
