you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
