There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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