Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
