She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
