you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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