Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
