in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have surprise drugs for everyone
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
