Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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