i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
PANTIES FOUND
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