sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
the condom got lost in my hair
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
