Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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