so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize