You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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