I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
