BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
