just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
