I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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