UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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