I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize